Sara Zarr is the author of the upcoming book "Once Was Lost."

Samara Taylor used to believe in miracles. She used to believe in a lot of things. As a pastor’s kid, it’s hard not to buy in to the idea of the perfect family, a loving God, and amazing grace. But lately, Sam has a lot of reason to doubt. Her mother lands in rehab after a DUI and her father seems more interested in his congregation than his family. When a young girl in her small town is kidnapped, the local tragedy overlaps with Sam’s personal one, and the already-worn thread of faith holding her together begins to unravel.

Available October 1. (In the meanwhile, tide yourself over with her previous books "Sweethearts" and "Story of a Girl.")

sarazarr graciously agreed to be interviewed by me. Thank you, Sara!

Q. In your "about the book" page for "Once Was Lost" you mention that the tone reflects how you feel about religion yourself: sincere but conflicted. As the pre-publication interviews start, and after the book is released into the world in a few months, do you worry about the details of your own faith being poked and prodded at? Or do you look forward to talking about it?

A little of both. I've never been in the closet about my faith, but because I am conflicted (but sincere and not yet totally bitter) it can be hard to articulate. It's continually evolving, growing, shrinking, changing, and therefore I may seem to be contradicting myself now and then. I expect that the most prodding or critical response will come from inside the Christian community. The father character, a pastor, is flawed (as my characters generally are - especially parents!). I think Christians get tired of negative portrayals of clergy and I can understand that, especially when it's ham-handed and cartoonish. (Like having a preacher character literally thumping a Bible. In my 38 years in the Christian world I have never witnessed anyone, anywhere thump a Bible except in fictional settings.) But I hope that I've treated the father/pastor character with as much compassion as I try to give every character. Like everyone, pastors are human, and limited.

Q. Do you consider your book to be Christian fiction? Do you think the definition of "Christian fiction" is changing?

If pressed, I'd probably consider all of my books to be Christian fiction, in that I am a Christian and see everything through that worldview. I think the people and world I write about reflect my theology: my books are full of people who despite good (sometimes) intentions or desires mess up or are messed-up-upon (sin and are sinned against, to use a less popular phrase), seek redemption, and are limited in how far they can get with that on their own. I don't intentionally set out writing with a fistfull of theology, but it's hard for me not to see the world that way. Every writer has a worldview, and every writer creates from within that worldview.

But, I think you're asking about a publishing category, which is a whole different ball of wax. Once Was Lost could almost be a book you'd find in a Christian book store, but not quite. To be honest, I'm so far removed now from Christian subculture I don't really know what's out there in Christian publishing, particularly in fiction. I think so many writers with a religious worldview have moved away from religious publishing because it is an insider culture, limited in its reach and scope, and there are some things you're just not allowed to do. Most writers want to a) be intellectually free and b) reach a diverse audience. Religious publishing isn't necessarily the best place to achieve those goals.


Q. How old were you when you first started writing? Any details about early works (plots, titles, etc.) would be much appreciated.

I always enjoyed writing and dabbled my whole life, but I didn't seriously start and finish my first novel until I was 25 and out of college. The first novel I wrote was about a fifteen-year-old girl who, on her birthday, finds a guitar on her doorstep. Who is it from? What will happen if she learns to play it? Drama ensues. It was very melodramatic. My second novel took place mostly on a Christmas tree farm. The third turned out to be a bit of a pre-quel to Story of a Girl, as that was the book in which Deanna Lambert first appeared. All of those remain unpublished, thank God!

Q. What are some of the books that shaped you as a writer? Not necessarily favorites (though they often are)--but books from childhood that made you want to write for whatever reason?

Though I always loved reading, I don't remember books making want to write until I found realistic YA fiction. Robert Cormier blew my mind. The dark worlds he portrayed, the palpable presence of evil, all of that seemed to jibe with my experience of adolescence. High school can feel like such a battle, both an inner battle and an outer one. His books were so about that battle---with scary forces not just from outside but from within yourself. I wanted to tell those stories. Pre-YA books that shaped me all seemed to be about orphans and survivors: My Side of the Mountain, Island of the Blue Dolphins, The Wolves of Willoughby Chase, The Silver Crown... I think my world felt unsafe in some ways and I liked reading about kids surviving in unstable environments.

Q. Librarian questions: how old were you when you got your library card? Any favorite library or bookstore memories? Did you read young adult literature as a teen yourself?

Oh, I was young! It was green, and it was for the San Francisco Public Library. Our branch was on 9th Avenue, six blocks from where we lived. It had a huge children's room, and everything was shiny, dark wood. I remember low round tables and at the center of each was a cup full of golf pencils and the check-out slips you had to fill out back then before it was all computerized. You'd take that up to the desk, and the librarian would stamp the index card inside the books with the return date. I absolutely loved the library. The concept of buying books was somewhat foreign to me. Why would you go to a store and pay money for one book when you could go to the library and get ten of them for free?

Q. If you read YA, do you remember reading books that spoke to your religious point of view at the time? What about middle grade or adult books?

Cormier was a devout Catholic and his YA was haunted with religion in that Flannery O'Connor sort of way. I don't know if I thought about that until I was an adult, though. Sometimes relatives or church friends would give me Christian book store books but they mostly bored me. Though, now that I think of it, my sister and I did go through an intense Janette Oke phase (Christian romance on the prairie). Right now I'm re-reading Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time, which I remember loving, but didn't remember how full of Christianity it is---Psalms are quoted, Jesus is mentioned as the light of the world. And, I loved The Chronicles of Narnia but I wouldn't say they spoke to my faith when I read them as a kid. Of course now the theological aspects seem obvious, but at the time I was just into the stories. I can't think of a contemporary YA novel I read that included any kind of real struggle with faith that was complex and realistic and familiar to my experience, which is one reason I wanted to write one.

Q. What are you reading right now?

I just finished re-reading Walker Percy's The Moviegoer for a contribution I'm making to the National Book Foundation's 60 Years of the National Book Awards blog. On the religious front I'm reading Brennan Manning and Anne Lamott, both of whom I find so compassionate and grounding when I'm having my semi-regular crises of faith. And, when I'm done with A Wrinkle in Time my plan is to re-read every single L'Engle book, in order, over the next couple of years. I'm not sure why. It's just something I feel compelled to do.