"Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.” --Terry Pratchett

I've been playing the latest Elder Scrolls game, SKYRIM, since it came out on 11/11. And I'm almost done with Terry Pratchett's newest Discworld book, "Snuff." (The Night Watch books are my favorites besides the Tiffany Aching books.) More and more I realize that the Elder Scrolls games and Pratchett's novels and many other fantasy books I read are about race and class relations. And they don't offer black and white, cut and dry solutions to race and class problems--they just examine them, admit that they are difficult issues, and show some ways different kinds of characters deal with these problems.

In SKYRIM, and earlier in OBLIVION and MORROWIND (the oldest ES game I played, starting 10 years ago), conflicts mirror things that happen in real life. The most universally downtrodden characters in these games are the Khajiit (cat people) and the Argonians (lizard people). In the game, they are typically pickpockets and poor people, living in hovels. Recently I traded with a Khajiit woman sitting in front of a tent. My character is a Nord, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed human native of the land in which the game is set. The Khajiit said "Thank you for trading with us. Most people won't even look at us." If I were playing the game as a Khajiit, her dialogue with me would have been entirely different--we would have been fellow outcasts in a hostile land. In the game, there is also a huge conflict between elves and humans, both sides being racist, both sides denigrating the other while defending their own causes as noble and just. Eventually I'll have to choose a side between two factions and I still don't know which one I'll pick. Both seem right and both seem wrong.

In Terry Pratchett's SNUFF, once again the author attempts to break down barriers by showing Discworld's commander of the Night Watch police force fighting for the rights of the oppressed. In the book, goblins are treated as worthless, disgusting creatures. In various Night Watch stories, commander Sam Vimes has made it uncivilized to be prejudiced against vampires, werewolves, trolls, ogres and other formerly undesirable creatures. But it's the same battle every time, as if people treat each case as unique, rather than learning lessons from earlier prejudices. Of course goblins are not worthy of equal rights or common civility--they're no better than rats or cockroaches. Until they're not. Once goblins are accepted as worthy of rights, they will be replaced with another creature lower on the totem pole, and the cycle will begin again. It's especially sad when the formerly oppressed feel justified in oppressing those "below" them once they are elevated.

I think this is one great function of stories. They force us to see from others' points of view more clearly than we ever could in real life. And they should make us recognize that the suffering of beloved characters in books is a reflection of the suffering of their fellow human beings in real life.

Check out the memorial page for author William Sleator, who passed away on August 3.

William Sleator had an undeniable influence on me in elementary and middle school. Here are the three books that marked me for life.

1. HOUSE OF STAIRS. I first read this book when I was in fifth grade. It gave me a taste for dystopian stories that hasn't left me to this day. This book also meant I figured out what was going on in LOST very early in the game, astounding my friends, ha! My first "novel," written in fifth grade, was all about experimenting on people in artificial environments. And I still love reading and writing stories along those lines, to this day.

2. INTERSTELLAR PIG. I read this one in early middle school, reread it a ton of times and recommended it to all my friends. I loved the idea that the people next door could be aliens and a board game could really be an interstellar battle. This book speaks so much to kids, I think, because so many times when you're a kid you feel life is so boring and you are powerless and uninteresting. How exciting to imagine a world where there is much, much more going on beneath the surface, and even a board game could have life or death stakes.

3. SINGULARITY. The story of twins who discover a black hole portal in a shed--and how one twin takes advantage of the change in time/space around the black hole to make himself older than his bullying brother. As a writer, it is amazing to me to look back on a favorite book about a kid who locks himself in a shed for a year (while mere hours pass for his sleeping brother). Sleator made this boring-on-paper concept work--Harry's character growth is amazing.

I ran across this older post by agent Rachelle Gardner: What We Give Up.

She said "Life is all about choices, and when we choose to pursue a passion that’s time-consuming, we have to say no to other things."

I adore being a writer. I love creating stories and worlds, then collaborating with others to make those stories better. This is one of my favorite things in the world. I don't regret or resent not doing the things on this list--none of them are better than writing, to me--but these are definitely some things I would do if I were not a writer.

Here are a few things I don't do:

-I'm not in a handbell choir. (This is one of my dreams for retirement.)

-I don't keep my house spotless. It's more in the middling, smudgy range.

-I don't host lots of dinner parties any more. If I do host one, it is usually potluck or very easy, or I have a cooking friend come and I act as sous-chef rather than planning and preparing everything myself.

-I don't have a butterfly garden or herb garden any more.

-I don't watch a lot of movies in the theater.

-I never watch TV by myself. If I'm watching the tube, it's doing double duty as togetherness time with my husband. May sound lame but I love watching The Soup and Tosh.0 with him every week--one of our rituals.

-It's very hard to get me to watch anything multi-episode: anime or long-running TV shows. There are some well-deserved exceptions (like Battlestar Galactica). It's difficult to get me to watch movies on DVD too. I regularly bring my laptop to friends' houses and hang out when we are eating dinner and chatting, then put in my earbuds and write while they watch something together.

-I don't try a lot of new video games. It is so easy for me to get addicted. I have played every iteration of The Sims and I use that to unwind and de-stress. I also LOVE Morrowind and Oblivion and I am ridiculously excited about Skyrim. But I don't seek out new games because I know how easy it is for me to get addicted.

-I don't do crafts. I love beading, and I enjoy drawing, and I do these things so, so seldom.

-I don't go shopping a lot. I buy new clothes maybe 3-4 times a year, often online.

-I don't wear makeup, blow-dry my hair or spend a lot of time choosing an outfit in the morning for work.

-I don't "hang out" with people other than my husband or my mom. My friendship time is very scheduled and usually has a purpose. I very seldom do things on the spur of the moment. I will literally put friendship time on my google calendar and label it "Deep conversation time with X." haha

-I don't read voraciously. I still read a lot, probably much more than the average person, but I read a lot less than I used to. (For example, Goodreads tells me I read 70 books in 2008, 44 books in 2009.)

-I seldom do girly things like getting manicures and pedicures, even though I enjoy them.

What about you? What do you not do?

For various reasons, these five songs have really spoken to me on my journey as a writer.

1. "Another Year" by Amanda Palmer


I have played this song on the piano while singing along so many times over the past year and a half. I think the song could be interpreted in so many ways. But to me one meaning is being afraid to reach for your dreams. Either from fear of failure, fear of success (a topic that comes up in the writing community over and over), certainty you're not ready, feeling stung from past rejection, being unable to shut up your inner critic. We delay reaching for what we want for so many reasons. I like that this song is from the point of view of someone placating herself. "Plus, I'm only twenty-six years old. My grandma died at eighty-three. That's lots of time if I don't smoke. I think I'll wait another year."

This song helped me recognize my own placating inner voice and start challenging her instead of listening to her.

2. "Placeholder" by Elliott Smith


This may seem like an odd choice for inspiration. Imagine this set in a bookstore instead of a record store and you get an incredibly depressing picture of the business end of writing, where writers feel like placeholders in the bookstore until someone else comes along and takes their spot. "Some pretty words that didn't last that long."

I so appreciate that Elliott Smith sang openly about his artistic process, including the dark side of it. In "New Monkey" he talks about the commodification of his addictions. "No actor action man's gonna move in to take my place. I'll be pumping out the product, just a total waste."

Creating art often comes from such a deep emotional place. And it can often be a dark, painful place. His words remind me that no matter what happens to your artistic output--no matter what others do with it, how they interpret it, how they respond or fail to respond to it--at the end of the day, the most important thing is, you have to enjoy being the creator.

3. "Blow Away (For Bill)" by Kate Bush


A sweet musing about what happens to art/what is the use of art after the artist dies. Nothing too deep here, just a 1980s song from a musician's point of view. She pictures joining Sid Vicious, Buddy Holly, Keith Moon and others in concert in the afterlife. I hope I get to hang out with all my favorite authors and talk about books after I die. Every time this comes up on my iPod it makes me smile.

4. "Big Time Sensuality" by Bjork


This song is not about sex--it's about creativity and creative collaboration. Bjork has always been a master collaborator. I love this ode to creativity, the pure excitement of it. "It takes courage to enjoy it." It's so easy to feel afraid or shy, especially when bravery may get you rejections, judgment or no response whatsoever. This song reminds me to be brave. Bonus: the hilarious French and Saunders parody of this video.

5. "Helplessness Blues" by Fleet Foxes


A new one. The singer longs to be part of something larger than himself. This is how writing makes me feel. First off, being part of the amazing kidlit community. Second, working toward being something I so admired when I was a child myself. And third, the opportunity to engage with the world on a larger, artistic level--that's extremely interesting and exciting to me.

"What good is it to sing helplessness blues? Why should I wait for anyone else?" I love this because, while the kidlit community is amazing and supportive, ultimately writing is a solitary pursuit and we can only depend on ourselves to reach our goals.

I love the end part. "If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore. Someday I'll be like the man on the screen." Isn't that the dream? We all work ourselves to the bone and, oh, the celebrating when one of us gets an agent or a book contract.

I was cleaning up at the library last night and almost threw this away before I noticed what was written on it. carriejones, meet a loyal fan.

I am going out on a limb to give them extra credit for writing it on Battlestar Galactica paper! I don't care whether it was intentional or not. ;)

"Tiger Mountain Peasant Song" by Fleet Foxes



Dear shadow, alive and well,
How can the body die?
You tell me everything,
Anything true, Jesse

"Kingfisher" by Joanna Newsom



Stand here and name the one you love
Beneath the drifting ashes
And in naming, rise above
Time as it, flashing, passes

"Street Spirit (Fade Out)" by Radiohead. Bonus: it's an AMV from "Kino no tabi," an anime which was also a huge inspiration for this book.

Be a world, child, form a circle
Before we all go under

My husband and I went up to Boston for a glorious, history-filled trip last week. While we were there, we went into NYC for an afternoon and ... I got to meet my agent in person for the first time!

Pics or it didn't happen

Tina is just as kind and funny and smart in person as she is in email and on the phone. It was so great to finally meet her.

Just letting people know, I'm now offering assistance with revising query letters and first ten pages. Details here.